Since you’ve come to the “About The Author” page, you probably want to leave this page knowing at least a little something about the author.
My name is Alison, wife to my husband, Whovian (not his real name), and the mother of Doom and Destruction (also not their real names, but totally could have been). Doom is a teenager who exists in a perpetual state of angst most days because I am apparently the Ruiner Of All Things Fun And Wonderful. (You know, because I make her do homework and take showers on the regular when she could be spending that vital time watching videos on YouTube instead.) Destruction is a few years younger than Doom but people often mistake her for being 40. Hell, even I sometimes forget she’s only 11 – the kid has razor sharp wit and the mannerisms of a middle aged adult. It is equal parts adorable and challenging. Much of the time, I feel like I’m having a conversation with myself whenever I’m talking with her. While Doom has always been a daddy’s girl, Destruction is mini-me.
I fear for the world. I really do.
“Who is putting crackers down your shirt?” you may be wondering. No one is, at the present moment. When she was a toddler, Doom thought that my bra was a brilliant hideaway for snacks and I had to ask her, repeatedly, to please stop putting crackers down my shirt. How I marveled at that line afterward. It was one of those ridiculous sentences that I couldn’t believe I actually had to speak out loud, and it was only the first of many more to come. Thanks to my daughter’s love of all things crumbly, the title of this blog was born.
Mostly it’s a collection of personal musings and stories that I hope you’ll find at least mildly entertaining. And if not, you can always print the pages and use them to start a fire, or to line a birdcage, or you could fold them up into little paper boats and float them down a stream or flooded ditch, or you could wad them up and throw them at unsuspecting targets like your children or old people on the street.
I’m a cadre writer for BLUNTmoms, a purveyor of satirical writing for MockMom, and a contributor to the anthologies “Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee” (April, 2015) and “Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe and WTF?!” (June, 2015). An essayist for random websites that strike my fancy, I’m also a part of Hearst Digital Media’s contributor network with work published on Cosmopolitan.com and GoodHousekeeping.com. You can find me on Twitter @crumbsdown or you can find a limited selection of my artwork at Carbonmade (I’m still seeking out the ideal portfolio set up, but it works for now). I’m currently working on my first novel, a work of fantasy fiction that will hopefully be finished some day before I die. Not that I’m planning to die anytime soon, but you know how it is in a universe full of buses and space station toilet seats. I am too easily sidetracked by Facebook and Solitaire and oh look there’s a shiny thing over there…