9 GIFs That Sum Up My Feelings About Cheese

Being lactose intolerant, I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with cheese. I love some of it, I dislike some of it, and all of it hates me with the passion of a thousand burning anuses.

Bloating and gas aside, it’s irresistible. How do I love cheese? Let me count the ways:

1. Provolone

Two words: Chicken Parmigiana.

I’m rethinking my sanctimonius vegetarian lifestyle choice.

 

2. Swiss

Behold the holiest of holy cheeses.Behold the holiest of holy cheeses.

 

3. Limburger

Edibles should not ever smell like rotting corpse feet.Edibles should not ever smell like rotting corpse feet.

 

4. Mozzarella

Melty string cheese + fried batter = total mouthgasm.Melty string cheese + fried batter = total mouthgasm.

 

5. Bleu Cheese

Chunks of penicillin mold are a good thing if you’re prone to syphilis, I guess.Chunks of penicillin mold are a good thing if you’re prone to syphilis, I guess.

 

6. Gouda

Bad for puns (it’s so gooood-a, ha-ha-ha) but great for just about everything else—Bad for puns (it’s so gooood-a, ha-ha-ha) but great for just about everything else—

 

7. Smoked Gouda

—including a post-sex snack.—including a post-sex snack.

 

8. American

Nothing finishes a sandwich quite like our homegrown processed cheese substance.Nothing finishes a sandwich quite like our own homegrown processed cheese substance.

 

9. Mascarpone

Like a life without dancing, a life without tiramisu is no life at all.Like a life without dancing, a life without tiramisu is no life at all.