Being lactose intolerant, I have an ongoing love/hate relationship with cheese. I love some of it, I dislike some of it, and all of it hates me with the passion of a thousand burning anuses.
Bloating and gas aside, it’s irresistible. How do I love cheese? Let me count the ways:
Two words: Chicken Parmigiana.
I’m rethinking my sanctimonius vegetarian lifestyle choice.
Behold the holiest of holy cheeses.
Edibles should not ever smell like rotting corpse feet.
Melty string cheese + fried batter = total mouthgasm.
5. Bleu Cheese
Chunks of penicillin mold are a good thing if you’re prone to syphilis, I guess.
Bad for puns (it’s so gooood-a, ha-ha-ha) but great for just about everything else—
7. Smoked Gouda
—including a post-sex snack.
Nothing finishes a sandwich quite like our own homegrown processed cheese substance.
Like a life without dancing, a life without tiramisu is no life at all.