Martinis & Motherhood Has Been Released!

Today is launch day for “Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!”

martinis

Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! is a diverse collection of stories that offer the humorous, heart-felt, and poignant life experiences of motherhood through all of its evolving chapters as our children grow up. It’s broken up into three sections: tales of Wonder (where my story, Best Laid Un-Plans, can be found), tales of Woe, and tales of What-The-Fuck. One thing that I especially love about Martinis & Motherhood is how, no matter what your personal experiences with parenting are, there are plenty of moments you’ll be able to identify with, scattered throughout the book. Reading such varied stories is like sitting around with your closest friends, sharing and commiserating with each other through entertaining tales over drinks.

Speaking of drinks, each story is accompanied by a personalized martini recipe and toast. I don’t mind saying that mine, The Fearless, is a freaking delicious blend of orange, cranberry, and pineapple. There is another that caught my eye, in particular – a martini recipe titled The Perfect Christmas, and oh my gods, you guys – it sounds flipping amazing.

If you would like to buy a copy of Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!, and I highly suggest that you do, you can purchase a copy at Amazon today!

I would also like to take a moment to introduce everyone who contributed to the book. Beside each name, you’ll find their personal blogs (or Facebook pages) listed and linked so you can check everyone out!

Team Wonder
Lynn Morrison nomadmomdiary.com
Angila Peters detachedfromlogic.com
Magnolia Ripkin magnoliaripkin.com
Louise Gleeson latenightplays.com
Jocelyn Pihlaja omightycrisis.com.com
Alison Huff crumbsdown.wordpress.com
Leigh-Mary Barone Hoffmann happilyeverlaughterblog.com
Shannon Drury theradicalhousewife.com
Patricia Mirchandani raising-humans.com
Lauren Stevens lo-wren.com
Cordelia Newlin de Rojas multilingualmama.com
Sarah Deveau doingallthethings.com

Team Woe
Shannon Day martinisandmotherhood.com
Tara Wilson dontlickthedeck.com
Vicki Lesage vickilesage.com
Abby the Writer littlemissperfect.com
Brooke Takhar missteenussr.com
Kate Parlin shakespearesmom.com
Christina Antus christinaantus.net
Jennifer Baird-Dean thechiofjen.com
Sara Park crcrsmommyblog.com
Tamara Schroeder thattamiam.com
Kristen Hansen Brakeman kristenbrakeman.com
Lori Lu Green LeRoy theinadequateconception.com
Carolyn Mackenzie – Carolyn Mackenzie, News Personality

Team WTF
Susanne Kerns thedustyparachute.com
Sarah Halsall del Rio established1975.com
Lisa Webb canadianexpatmom.com
Jessica D’Andrea Kapp jesskapp.com
Kim McDonald twobugsandablog.com
Lisa Carmody Doiron momologues-soliloquies.com
Olga Mecking europeanmama.com
Holly Rust mothersguidetosanity.com
Kathryn Leehane foxywinepocket.com
Jill Hudkins Robbins rippedjeansandbifocals.com
Kristine Laco mumrevised.com
Andrea Mulder-Slater noreallyandrea.com

Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?! is a wonderful summer read to share with a book club or with the moms in your playgroup because it’s perfect for veteran mothers and expecting mothers, alike. Plus, martinis! (And for those expecting mothers, a few of the martini recipes have virgin mocktini instructions provided.)

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The Trollops Have Been Released!

IT’S HERE!
It’s here! It’s here!

And yeah. I’m late. It’s a day that ends in “y,” did you really expect anything less from me?

Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee is available on Amazon! Get it today! Or tomorrow! Or next week after your paycheck gets deposited! No pressure!

35 reader reviews are in so far and they all say what we already knew to be true: the book is awesome.

From the press release:

Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee blends more than forty heart-warming, funny, and authentically told stories about the craziness of being reared and raised with the hard-hitting anecdotes that keep mothers sane. Whether it’s a traditional lesson about the value of money or a hilarious outtake about the proper way to shave, any person who cherishes their mother will relate to the stories in the book.

“When you were growing up, your mother’s advice might have made your eyes roll in exasperation, squeeze shut in frustration, or tear up with emotion—all in one conversation. Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee brings you back to those days, in a very good way,” says J.D. Bailey, humorist and creator of Honest Mom®.

Mike Cruse, blogger at Papa Does Preach, shares Bailey’s sentiments. “We spend our youth thinking our parents are crazy, lame, and have no idea what they’re talking about; and then we become parents ourselves and find out that we, in fact, were the idiots. This book shares some of the best advice received from moms as told by some of the most hilarious authors writing today.”

See? You won’t be disappointed!

 

 

For The Love Of Writing

So… a lot has been happening. It’s as though the universe decided to pave a section of my rural paradise and put up a parking lot filled with good things. While there are no Dodge Vipers or Porsches sitting out there, if my writing career proceeds onward the way I’m working my ass off to make sure that it does, there just might be. Some day.

(Or maybe, at least, like a newer Jeep or something.)

While my novel is still in the works (and will be for some time), I recently had two essays accepted into anthologies! I’ll be sharing more information about them as they get closer to their release dates:

 

 
Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee
Edited by Crystal Ponti; Published by Blue Lobster Press
(ETA: Spring, 2015)

trollopsFrom the editor: “Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee is filled with the crazy, brilliant, and unforgettable lessons we’ve learned from our mothers—stories shared by more than forty word-crafty writers. Some of the tales will make you laugh; some will make you cry; and a few will leave you questioning how we ever survived our childhoods. Although they may seem a little faulty, trust me, our mothers (and motherly figures) could drive like Andretti, cook like Julia Child, and shake someone up like an Italian mobster. We’ve survived and thrived, and never forgotten their enlightening words.”

 

 

Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!
Presented by Shannon Day & Tara Wilson; Published by Tipsy Squirrel Press
(ETA: June, 2015)

martinisFrom the publisher: “There will be heartfelt stories (with not even a hint of cheese) that’ll fog up your glasses and make you feel even luckier to be a mom. There will be scenarios, and hilarious turns of phrase, that’ll make you spit out your coffee and run off to the loo. There will be relatable, and sometimes unbelievable, mom-sufferings, told with humour- sure to make you feel a bit less alone and maybe even proud of your own tales of survival.

Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder Woe & WTF?! will make you feel like you’ve just shared some drinks, some stories, and some laughs with a group of fun moms, who remind you of your own pals.
The book is currently in production mode but will be here just in time for the Summer (cocktail) season.”

 

The essays I wrote are both true stories, unlike the fiction I’ve been weaving in my (as-of-yet-unnamed) novel. I’m so proud to be included among such brilliant and supportive writers and I cannot wait to read these books when they come out! An anthology is especially nice because you can read a story or two, stop to do laundry or cook dinner, and then come back to it later when you have the time to read one or two more. Anthologies also expose the reader to a wide variety of voices and styles – writers whom they might not have discovered otherwise. They’re just terrific avenues for everyone, writers and readers alike.

(And if you are an aspiring writer, yourself, I highly suggest writing for anthologies if shorter stories and essays are your thing. Contact me via email or in the comments – I’m happy to share all of my bookmarked resources for anthologies/publications!)

I hope you’ll consider purchasing copies of “Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee” and “Martinis & Motherhood – Tales of Wonder, Woe & WTF?!” when they are released in the near future, and I’ll definitely keep you posted about any book signings that are organized for each, even if they’re not in the OH/PA/WV areas where I would likely travel.

And I know right? Holy shit – that means I’ll be participating in book signings. As in, to autograph books and meet readers face-to-face. Talk about surreal. When the time comes, I hope I don’t disappoint people. I’ve been told on more than one occasion, “Wow. You are not what I expected.”

I never know if that’s a good thing, or not.

 

 

Bathroom Cheesecake

Recently, my husband bought one of those boxed, “No Bake Cheesecake” mixes from the grocery store. If you’ve never heard of such a thing, allow me to explain: all one has to do is beat fresh milk into pre-measured dry ingredients and cheesecake filling is magically created. It’s just that simple. The resulting cheese goo is poured into a ready-made pie crust and the entire dessert is placed in the refrigerator to set for about an hour before it’s eaten.

So. Easy. And tasty, too – lactose intolerance be damned.

The only real trouble was, on this particular night when a cake of cheese sounded most divine, both of our kids were home. Greedy parents that we are, we did not want to share.

“Whatever shall we do?” Whovian asked of me as he paced the wooden floor of our upstairs bedroom. “The children are downstairs in the living room at this moment. Verily, they will hear the sound of the electric mixer and surely know that something sweet is afoot in the kitchen!”

“Hark, dear husband,” I replied. “Do not trouble thy mind with such fanciful worries, for indeed there is a solution to our predicament.”

I had his full attention. I spoke once again:

“The children are engrossed in their YouTube videos. Go down to the kitchen, husband of mine. Fetch all of the supplies we will need to forge this cake of cheese. A mixing bowl. The electric mixer. A measuring cup filled with milk, the pie crust and the mix. Gather these things quietly and bring them up hither.”

“What then, mine wife? Surely the noise of the electric mixer will echo throughout the house, even from upstairs.”

“Aye. ’Tis wherefore we will make it in our bathroom, with the door closed. The din of yon bathroom fan will muffle the racket of our cheesecake-making and the children shalt ne’r know what we hath wrought.”

Whovian marveled at my genius resolve for but a moment before another concern flashed in his eyes.

“But soft, goodly wife,” he said. “We must refrigerate this cake for it is made of cheese and milk! How dost we hide it in our refrigerator for one hour? Surely our spawn will find it during their next search for snacks, for such expeditions occur every fifteen minutes!”

I wistfully looked through the glass of our bedroom doors, the ones that lead to the second-story balcony.

“My dear husband,” I said as my arm made a grand gesture toward the whirling snowstorm outside. “It is but five degrees Fahrenheit on this night. We need not a refrigerator, for nature hath given us all the chill we will need to set our cheesecake in complete privacy.”

A slow smile spread across Whovian’s face. It was the smile of a parent who knew that his children had been outsmarted.

And lo, but one short hour later, we sat on our bed together, partners in sweet conspiracy that we were, eating cheesecake and watching Netflix.

Aye verily, ’twas beautifully delicious.

Word Of The Day: Fun Dip

Fun Dip |fən dip|

noun
• A powdery, sugary confection developed by Willy Wonka Satan himself, manufactured somewhere in the bowls bowels of Hell. Street names include Hell Sprinkles, Sinister Sand, Maleficarum’s Magically Multiplying Mess and Devil Dust. Has a 100% likelihood of spillage, with only a 30% probability of completely successful cleanup afterward.

• 9 out of 10 kids will agree with the following statement:
“Fun Dip tastes awesome, especially when it’s licked directly from the table, my pants, or even the floor!

• 9 out of 10 parents will agree with the following statement:
“There is nothing ‘fun’ about Fun Dip.”

More-You-Know